Carl Guignard
The Price Of A Child
English 11/1
Free I Think
At last we are free, I think. All the things that my children and I have been
through this should be wonderful. It leaves a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.
Should I, or should I not speak what is in my heart. For people to
understand what it’s like, for people to understand how it feels, for people
to! No I am not sure what to do. Being reunited with my children help me see
the light, a new air has filled my body up. Not the old air of slavery and
hate. It is celebration time! Me and my kids are free, but just my luck people
want to shed blood and hurt the people who helped me through my
struggle. Just to get a quick buck. How evil can people be, to kidnap and to
kill at a place of joy and happiesness. This is why I must speak the pain I
have been through. This is why I must speak what has happened to me and
my children. This is why I must speak of what could of happen. So that
people who out there can see, or for people who have slaves them self’s
came open there eyes and see a new life that my children and I our trying,
wishing, and praying to live.
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For the part that says "this is why i must speak" is very strong and expressive. You end each line that says that with a powerful thought to think about. You explain very well how much struggle and hardship Mercer has been through i feel like i know her whole life story by your poem. The poem also compares to other people who have been through slavery and what they think about it.
ReplyDeleteYour focus seems to wander a bit with this piece. What emotions, conflicts are you interested in communicating/examining through this writing? At the beginning you seem most interested in working out a debate over whether Mercer's freedom can really be characterized as freedom, but then you seem to wander away from this focus.
ReplyDeleteIt also seems as though what you have written is a poem, but I'm not sure. Your lines seem to begin and end randomly, and I can't tell if some of the breaks are intentional or not.